What should you do when someone tells you something that you don’t appreciate, respect, or agree with? How can you still stay in rapport with them and make sure you don’t lose the conversation without being frustrated or upset?
In Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) there is a concept called “Agreement Frame” which will help you in your 1-to-1 communications as well as when you are on stage, and you are having a conversation with one of the people in the audience. Here are the three mainframes:
I APPRECIATE what you are saying, AND…
I RESPECT what you are saying, AND…
I AGREE with what you are saying, AND…
The most effective way to use the agreement frame and get the best results is to do the following:
There is a conversation between person A and person B.
A: You must be lucky to succeed in life.
B: I understand but, …….. (Avoid this pattern)
B can also respond: I agree with what you are saying AND, can I share my thoughts? Here is what I believe: Success is the result of good judgment, vision, and dedication. I am sure some luck will help too. What do YOU think?
Another conversation between person A and person B.
A: Not all leaders need to learn public speaking. They can easily hire other people to do it for them.
B: I respect what you are saying AND, can I share my thoughts? Here is what I believe: I believe all influencers need to learn how to speak better so they can empower people more effectively with their speaking skills. What do YOU think?
Flexibility is important for effective communication. Avoiding resistance from others keeps others involved in what one is saying and leaves them open to new ideas.
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